Monday, March 31, 2008

Poopy Peanut Hat

Aiden before bed tonight:

"Mommy, I want to have a dream about me and daddy...and clown faces. We have clown faces and a poopy peanut hat, and you know all that kind of stuff"

Me: Um, okay sweetie, but to have a dream you need to go to sleep

Aiden: Well sometimes if I don't go to sleep I have dreams.

Me: You need to go to sleep, hugs and kisses now

Aiden: I don't know how to have a dream. Good night love you

Followed by our usual series of 'Good night love you's' as I go downstairs.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Daddy's suntan lotion

There are somethings that go on in a household that should not be made public, they most certainly should not be written about on the internet for all to read.

This is one of these things...and I don't care b/c I laughed so hard I have to share!

I come home from lunch with a couple friends and I find Handsome Hubby and Thing 1 hanging out. When I left T1n was napping...thank god! It was a much needed nap! HH was a little bummed that I was leaving while he was sleeping b/c that is generally our weekend nookie time. Okay, who am I kidding, that is our only nookie time and he's lucky if he gets that.
Big belly + swollen lady parts + sex = not a good time.

So HH is on his lap top and T1 is running around...being T1. He gets quiet and I look over and he's sitting in HH's computer chair holding a bottle of lube. Yep, that's right ladies and gentleman (assuming there are any guys that would actually read this) lube.

Apparently HH decided he needed to let off a little, ah, steam while I was gone and Aiden was sleeping....but left the bottle sitting next to his computer. No, T1 didn't open it and try to use it has hair gel or lotion, although that would make a much better story. I just laughed uncontrollably and told T1 to give it to daddy. Of course HH can't see what I'm laughing at...and gets up. He takes the bottle and tells T1 that it's 'Daddy's suntan lotion' *insert eye roll here*

I've been harassing him about it all day b/c I think it's freaking hilarious. And yes, I realize that it was sitting at the computer b/c he was watching porn. My husband watches porn, I know this and I'm okay with this. If I was in the mood and only got nookie every 2 weeks, I'd be watching porn too. Okay, no I wouldn't b/c I just laugh, but whatever, you get the point.

His red hair makes him crazy

I am trying to keep my head and not totally freak out. One meltdown this week is enough.

Rewind to Thursday night. Little man is just going through a stage, I know my head, I know this. He is testing and testing...but he is going end up hanging by his toe nails if he tests me too much more. He's picked up yelling...actually, more like screaming...and talking back...and mocking. Yes, he's 5 and yes, these are all things he is going to do...but when mommy is the size of a house and Daddy is sitting at the computer LAUGHING, it is not the time to push.
I cried...full on tears and gasping for breath. You would have thought I'd just found out they canceled Grey's Anatomy. He ended up in his room, daddy realized that I wasn't laughing and the night ended....okay.
Problem is, we go through this every single day and I don't know what else to do. Spanking doesn't work, time out doesn't work. I've taken everything I can away from him and that works for a few, but not long enough.
I told Jared (yes, I'm dropping the Hubby and Little Man, screw anonymity) I could deal with the fits, it's the throwing, kicking, and trying to hit that I refuse to put up with. Jared pulled at my hair and said, "you know where he gets that from, right?"

Okay, so maybe it's true...maybe the red hair does make him crazy....huh, wonder what that says about me?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Lets talk weight and poop

My kid refuses to poop. He is obsessed with the word poop and one of his favorite phrases is 'hey poopy butt' yet when it comes to doing the deed he has some serious performance anxiety. It took 2 cans of prune juice and holding him down on the toilet to get him to poop on Easter. This was after being up all night screaming in pain on Saturday. You'd think we were murdering the child the way he was screaming and crying. I thought for certain he was birthing an alien or something, heck that would at least get us on the cover of a few magazines...but no, he's just full of...poop. Now here we are on Wednesday and guess what? No poop.

As for the weight part of this...I had a check up today. I've gained 11lbs in 4 weeks. I called my friend laughing hysterically. Yes, I find it funny...I'm large and in charge baby! Everything else is going fine with me and with baby. He's growing, I'm growing...we're just one big growing family.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Smith's Vanilla Ice Cream

Last night I was hungry but could not for the life of me figure out what I was hungry for. Normally, not a big deal, but when 6 months pregnant it's a HUGE deal. Literally.
Hmm...chips? nope. cookies? nope. cereal? still not cutting it. Strawberry banana smoothie? eh, not quite.
Wait, what is that I see? Plain vanilla ice cream, oh why not.
I use my little dessert bowls, you know, for portion control. I sit down to enjoy my cup of ice cream and it's Seriously, no wonder I have no need for sex these days, I have ice cream. Of course that little cup didn't cut I had to go back for a second.

Now it's 12:45 the next day and all I can think about is the vanilla ice cream in my freezer. Maybe with a side of Reese's Peanutbutter eggs. Yes, that sounds like a wonderful lunch.

Oh, and for the record, I am very much a chocolate girl, so I can totally blame this craving on pregnancy :)

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Bitchfest 2008

What I wouldn't give for a nice cold malibu and cranberry right now...or a frozen Margarita!

Bitch #1: My son has picked up whining and talking back. Two things we've never had to deal with before. Add to that the fact that mommy is the size of a house and uncomfortable, then toss in a crowded walmart for good measure and it is not a pretty thing. Oh, and lets not forget the cold/snow/rain keeping us indoors. Yes, it's fun times for all. I can't drink, so I eat ice cream. Not quite the same, but it helps.

Bitch #2: my keyboard is going crazy and now I can't finish my blog!!

Oh...and my ice cream is gone...

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Back to blogging

So I've decided it's time to start blogging's been awhile and I figure oh, why not!

I have a few that I just never published, so if you see a lot pop up at the same I'm not just extremely bored and I swear I do have a life outside of the internet.

Speaking of my life outside of the internet...I have 3 more months until the latest edition to our family arrives. I find myself thinking "WHAT THE HELL DID I GET MYSELF IN TO"?! quite frequently. I'm going to have 3 boys...and yes, I count my husband in there b/c while he is wonderful, he is sometimes like another kid.

So yes, our newest baby boy will be here soon, which means my current baby boy won't be my baby anymore. Scary stuff.

My due date? June 12th...however I do believe I will give birth to this one on June 13th. Why? Because it is Friday the 13th and it just seems fitting considering all the ups and downs of this pregnancy.