Friday, July 11, 2008

I want to quit

Breastfeeding that is.

I know the reasons for keeping at it and they are all very good reasons, but I'm *this* close to quitting. No, not b/c it hurts, it actually doesn't really hurt at all anymore. Thank goodness! I survived the poor latch and the tongue tied issue, I made it through that first week...and then the first week do-over after his tongue got clipped. It should be easy...and I guess if I'm being honest, it is.

However...I still want to quit.

It's not magical or beautiful or some grand bonding experience for me. He nurses and nurses and nurses all while I'm telling my 5 year old 'sorry, I can't do that right now' and by the time he's finished eating and I get whatever it is that Aiden needed, go pee and MAYBE get something to eat...he's hungry again. For me, it's just annoying. I'd rather be able to give him a bottle and let Jared feed him or even let Aiden feed him so I can get a break, even a short one. I'm doing the pumping thing but really? It's a pain too.
Part of me knows this is the hormones talking...and part of me knows that I will be shocked and amazed if I make it another month.

I guess this post is to remind all the new moms and soon to be moms out there that there is nothing wrong with you if you don't want to breastfeed...if you are like me, and you just don't like it, it doesn't make you a bad mom. Heck, if you decide you don't even want to try...that's fine too and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Yes, the first few weeks SUCK but we're all strong women, we are perfectly capable of handling it but if you decide you just don't want to handle it there is no shame in that. Your baby, your boobs, your choice!


Kristin said...

I couldn't agree more with your last paragraph!!! I don't really enjoy it, and have been going up and down about if I want to this time around. I feel like a loser sometimes because I don't really want to, lol!

Karol said...

Amen sister!! With Cole I was so miserable! Then I felt terrible b/c I only breastfed him 2 months and I had breastfed Owen 6 months! If I'm to have another one, don't think it's going to happen!

*Do what makes you feel happy!

andrea said...

i definatly love that you posted this! i am not even pregnant yet - and pretty much know that i do not want to breastfeed. i am sure i will give it a shot at first, just to say i tried it, but really, i dont wannna! i know i will be busy, tired, etc - and i know mike will want to help!! [or i will want to make him?!!]

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of an article I read recently that asked why women were so hard on each other. Why we couldn't respect other's decisions...particularly when it came to how they became pregnant, child raising, etc..

I love you and I support any decision you make..breastfeeding or otherwise :)