Saturday, August 30, 2008

I confess, I'm in the closet

My husband knows...a few of my real life friends know...but for the most part, it's my own personal secret that I only share with the anonymous blogging world.

I am a closeted blogger.


Why is this? Well obviously I'd rather air my dirty laundry to complete strangers then deal with it in the harsh reality of real life. I mean, what other reason could there be?

Jared knows I have a blog, about a month ago he walked past my computer while it was open, the title caught his attention and then he realized it was mine. I never told him about it...and in fact I find myself blogging while he's not around for fear that he may want to read it. I have no idea why I do this...there's nothing in here he doesn't already know.
Only 3 of my real life friends know that I write this. (well except for my message board real life friends, love you girls too) One of them is on said message boards, the other I actually *gasp* gave her the link to my secret world and the third...well she's sneaky and must have found me when I left an anonymous comment on her own blog.

So, while I probably should come out of the closet and show my goods (or not so much) to the world, I think for now I will continue with my little secret. I know I can trust you, right bloggers?

Friday, August 29, 2008


Today was Aiden's first day of Kindergarten. Mommy managed to get through it with minimal tears. He was a champ.

He's always been a little on the shy side in new situations. When we dropped him off at preschool his first day, he was reluctant to play with the kids or talk to the teachers. His teacher had a meeting with us half way through the year b/c he wouldn't speak up in class, he would participate...but was very quiet and almost too laid back. Gets that from his mama, I'm afraid.

So he wakes up this morning at 7am, crawls in to bed with me and proceeds to tell me that we're going to be late and I need to get up. Um, school doesn't start until 11:30 and the baby is still sleeping...go downstairs :)

When we get to the school I'm a little nervous myself. How does drop off/pick up work? Is he dressed okay? Will he make friends? Will he like his teacher? Will I like his teacher? Have we taught him enough? Will he be ahead or behind the other kids? I mean seriously, it's a lot of pressure! Well we go in and everyone is super nice and Aiden plops himself down next to our friends little boy, who happens to be in his class, and starts telling the office lady all about his hulk back pack and how he's starting Kindergarten.
I'm staring at him in disbelief, where did my shy little preschooler go? When did he turn in to such a chatter box? I guess my first clue should have been last week when he hugged a lady in the battery aisle at Target...but I digress.

He was fine, he got in line and walked down the hall to find his hook without so much as a glance back at me. He happily gave me a hug and kiss, let mommy take ONE MORE PICTURE...and was on his way.

I got in my car and cried...where did the last 5.5 years go? When did he turn in to such a little boy? Actually, such a big boy? I look at Ian and realize that these baby days really are gone in the blink of an eye.

When Aiden came home he told me he liked his teacher, they have a guinea pig named Riley...and he has 2 cousins named Riley "It's just a Riley party". They also have a a "little puter" with a farm game with "a cow and milk and stuff". He asked me why "that little boy" likes playing with him so much but his cousins don't. That made me a little sad.
By the time we got in the door a little before 3, he announced that he was just so tired and needed to take a rest. He slept for over 2 hours. Hmmm, maybe this whole Kindergarten thing isn't so bad after all :)

And on the important stuff...:)

Getting dressed

A glimpse in to my future "really mom"

The "pack pack" he was so excited about

With his baby brother

Mommy trying to take a picture of the two of us, only she didn't realize that the camera was still zoomed in

His hook

I am a very bad blogger

I am really bad at remembering to blog about a certain thing on a specific day...So here are a few reasons why my husband rocks (b/c I've missed a few weeks)

1. He called this afternoon to see if I'd taken the video camera for Aiden's first day of Kindergarten. Um, no but I did take pictures. He genuinely wanted to be there, but couldn't. Even when he's tired and crabby, he's always gone to every one of Aiden's preschool events.

2. He is constantly trying to better himself...but not for him, for us. All he wants to do is be able to support us and plan for our future. Even when I think his ideas are crazy (buying silver with half our savings, stocking up on food in the basement, storing jugs of water) I know he does it b/c he cares about us and wants to make sure that if something catastrophic would happen, we'd be okay.

3. He calls...he calls me to see how I'm doing when he knows it's going to be a long day, he calls if he's running late...and tonight he called to let me know the boss asked/ordered him out for beers and he wouldn't be home for dinner. Even though he'd been up since 3am (couldn't get back to sleep) he sat down with Aiden and I when he got home and asked Aiden about school, ate a little something and then read Aiden a book and tucked him in b/c it was his turn.

yea, he rocks...and I love him.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Browns vs. Steelers in the eyes of a 5 year old

We're at Walmart today and Aiden is checking out the baby clothes. Last week he begged me to buy Ian a $17 Cleveland Browns onesie. I said no, he was completely floored that I wouldn't buy it, telling me that Ian needs it and Daddy would like it.

Today he looks at me and asks what is on one of the shirts. It says Steelers.

A: Oh, I love the Steelers
M: No you don't, you love the Browns *grinning*
A: No mommy, really, I love the Steelers. They're better then the Browns *disgusted*

Now...if you know my husband, you know that this would not go over well in our house. I just laughed it off and figured I'd tell Jared about it later.

Fast forward to 8:45 tonight, on our way home from my parents house.

A: Mommy, when I go to Kindergarten I'm gonna tell all my teachers about the Steelers.
M: You need to tell them GO Browns!
A: No mommy, the steelers are better. They can steal the ball and cross that line, you know, that line, and win. They're cheaters too. Bunch of cheaters. But they're better then the Browns
M: *laughing* Okay sweetie, you make sure you tell Daddy why you like the Steelers when we get home
A: Oh, I will!

Football season should be interesting. I'm tempted to buy Aiden a Steelers shirt, is that wrong?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

No exotic dancers

Apparently "exotic dancer" is the PG way to say stripper.

A: Mommy, what does no exotic dancer mean?
M: What?
A: exotic dancer, what does that mean?
M: Um...*laughing* it means he doesn't want to dance
A: WHAT? *appalled* No dancing??
M: *laughing* No dancing
A: *goes back to watching Fantastic 4*

Do you know why birds poop on windshields?

Because they don't have a potty in their nest.


Tuesday, August 26, 2008

What do I want to be when I grow up?

I've struggled with this my entire adult life, I've never really known what I want to do. I'm not particularly good at any one thing.

When I was in elementary school I wanted to be a photographer...and while I still love taking pictures and have gotten better, I don't have enough of an eye for it to actually pursue it. It's a fun hobby though.

When I was in middle/high school and even college I wanted to be a writer. I guess in some ways I still do...but again, I'm not sure I have knack for it. I think I'm okay, I can at the very least string a sentence or two together.

As an adult, I really just want to be a good wife and mother...but I worry that at some point these boys are going to leave and then what? What am I left with? I'll still be a wife...but I'm not exactly the domestic goddess. I don't see myself sitting around knitting baby clothes for future grandchildren. I guess I just don't want to regret not doing something else...but what?

This all stems from the fact that my maternity leave is over. I called my boss and officially told him I'd be back to work on Tuesday. I'm not ready...I'm sad that my little man is going to Kindergarten and I'm sad that I'm going to have to leave my baby boy 3 days a week. Yes, he'll be with Grandma and she loves him dearly...but it's not the same. And I know that I'm am one lucky girl to only have to work 3 days a my head, I know this...and maybe if I enjoyed my job or if it was a career rather then just something to pay the bills, I'd feel better. Maybe if it was in a company where there was room to move up...but it's not.

So I guess it's time to figure out what I want to do...really want to do...for myself and for my family. Of course the other big obstacle is that I hate school...I hate everything about sitting in a classroom. In big classes I get bored and in smaller ones I'm self conscious and don't want to speak up. Of course it's been over 6 years since I tried...but I doubt those two things have changed.

Damn, why didn't I do what I said I was going to in high school. Sleep with a married, wealthy, high profile politician and then black mail him. Damn I missed the boat on that one.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

My Girlfriend

We were out with some friends today and went to Wendy's for lunch. I tell Aiden to finish eating because mommy needs to get home and get some stuff done before Chloe comes over. I'm watching a friends daughter while she and her boyfriend go out tonight and figure I should probably attempt to do something before she gets here. Yes, apparently blogging is included in that 'something'. Whatever,it's productive damnit!

So one of the other boys asks, who is Chloe?
Without missing a beat Aiden says "My girlfriend"

Hmmm...exactly what happened in that tent while camping??!

Oh...and she's spending the night. Damn, they start young!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Bed Bath and Beyond, here I come!

I did my weigh in yesterday...167, yep, same as last week.
Okay fine, I did eat a ton of crap all atleast I didn't gain anything. When I say a ton of crap, let me just give you an idea: hot dogs, not just turkey ones either...s'mores...pie iron pizza...Ho-Ho...chips and salsa, LOTS of chips and salsa...alcohol, basically sugar and lemon flavored vodka...corn on the cob with real butter...I am certain I am forgetting a lot, but you get the idea.

So I was getting ready to blog about it when I decided to get on the scale, just for shits and giggles...164.

I think my scale hates me and is playing evil tricks on my mind. up down, up down. Don't toy with me damnit!!

I think I shall venture to bed bath and beyond with my 20% off coupon and purchase a new one that isn't the work of Satan. Oh wait, that would be all scales.

Sunday, August 17, 2008


To me, this picture defines childhood and memories. It just reminds me of running and playing without a care in the world. Dirt on your face, holes in your pants and it just doesn't matter. Beautiful. If only we could always be that care free.

We spent the weekend camping and I was a little nervous about it. I camped as a kid and a few times as an adult...but never with an infant. I over packed, like I always do. We had all sorts of issues leading up to the trip,including Aiden choking on a screw while I was trying to pack and find a campground, the day we were leaving. Yes, he put a tiny little screw in his mouth and then choked on it. Throwing up all over himself and his couch. It was lovely and just what I needed.

After making it to the first campground it was insanely busy. Of course it was 7ish and I'm sure a lot of people got off work and had the same idea we had. We left and went to the second campground. It didn't look busy but it also looked a little scary (sorry Anne!) so we headed back to the first. After looking around we found 2 perfect spots, shaded and nobody around us.

After we got settled out came the alcohol...b/c really, who camps without alcohol regardless of what the rules say? Let me just say, I'm getting damn good at making Yucka aka fair lemonade minus water plus vodka. So good! Recipe to follow.
Only one run in with the park ranger, I'd say that's pretty good.

I ate so much this weekend, I don't even want to think about my WW points. It wouldn't be pretty...but it was so so worth it. We went with Natlie, Rick and Chloe. We probably couldn't have picked a better group or a better weekend to go. It was seriously, fabulous. Ian was a total dream, aside from a few fits he was perfect. He slept until 11 on Saturday...I KNOW...ELEVEN!! Thank goodness for the bouncy seat, I think he just liked taking it all in.

The boys (the big ones) took up whittling while on this trip. No, I'm not joking. Jared made a knife and Rick made a spoon...actually two spoons. The first he gave to Chloe and the second he deemed the 'fertility spoon'. So all you girls out there TTCing, who needs science...apparently you just need a fertility spoon.

And on to a few more pictures:

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Awesome Mom Mon...oh, wait...Tuesday

So it seems I'm just behind on everything this week!
But here it is...Awesome Mom Monday, on Tuesday! :)

This week's Awesome Mom: My MOM!

What can I say, she did give me life, I figure she deserves a little acknowledgment.

As a lot of you know, my mom drives me nuts a lot of the time, but I have no idea what I would do without her. She will do anything and everything to help us without ever expecting anything in return. She's always been there for me, even when I didn't want her there. Even when I yelled and screamed at her, wondering why she just couldn't be like other moms.
She's been through more in her lifetime then I could ever in a million years imagine. Things she doesn't talk about, things I'm still too scared to ask about b/c I don't want to know the answers. She's got her share of issues and problems, but she is an amazing mother...and grandmother. She loves my boys to pieces and while she can't afford to shower them with gifts or expensive clothes, they will know every single day how much she loves them. Her world revolves around them these days and they know it. Does this make for spoiled little boys while at Grandma's house? Of course, and as much as I harass her about it...I really wouldn't have it any other way. I can't imagine my life, or theirs, without her.

Monday, August 11, 2008


7/31: 177 (dr. office)
8/11: 167 (home scale)
***No, I don't think I've lost 10 lbs in the past 10 days, we'll have wait until next week to get an accurate weigh in.***

Sunday, August 10, 2008

My Husband does rock...I'm just late

So it's been a crazy few days and I didn't post on I figure late Sunday night is just as good, right?

My husband rocks b/c he cooks for me. Yea, I know...doesn't seem like much. However, he cooks for me and keeps me in check with this whole weight watchers thing. Even when I don't want to hear it. He also puts up with my light sour cream, turkey bacon and egg beaters. He cuts out the butter so that I can eat the green beans without adding more points to my dinner...and doesn't complain.
It also helps that he kicks ass in the kitchen.

A game of Tag, Picutures and more

Thank you Karol for Tagging me! Sorry I'm a bit late, it's been a busy weekend. So, here goes:

1. Link to the person who tagged you
2. Post the rules on your blog
3. Write 6 random things about yourself
4. Tag 6 people at the end of your post and link to them
5. Let each person you have tagged know by leaving a comment on their blog
6. Let the tagger know when your entry is posted.


1. I'm afraid of the dark. In my head I know it's silly but I can't help but run up the stairs if I'm downstairs alone and it's dark. I also can not let my limbs hang over the edge of the bed when I sleep. I fully believe the boogie man is hiding under there waiting to grab me.

2. I love watching old episodes of 90210. I've seen them all a million times yet I still watch in amazement like it's the first time. I still grin like a school girl at seeing Brandon shirtless, I still laugh when good old Jim Walsh asks Brenda if she's done something that would require a pregnancy test and I still cry when Tony dies. Oh, poor Dylan! I really need to invest in the DVD's. Accepting donations.

3. Sweets are my weakness. I can pass up all salty snacks but put chocolate of any kind in front of me, and it's all over. I can't say no. I'm working on this.

4. I don't know how to work out. I never saw the inside of a gym until I was 19 and even then, it was just to go swimming. The Y scares me, I stick to my little bike on the top floor where I can read while I ride without looking like a fool. Once in a great while I may venture to the treadmill with the TV downstairs, but it's rare.

5. I have a serious internet addiction. I need to seek out a self help group, I'll have to google that.

6. I have stubby toes and I hate them. Jared says they're like little sausages.

And who am I tagging (sorry girls, Karol made me do it)

1. JenM (I'm going to let you slide if it takes you a few days to do this)
2. Amy
3. Andrea
4. Jill
5. Becky
6. Kelly


Okay...enough of that, time for pictures and updates. I'm just putting this in all one long blog, so deal with it.

Almost the end of Weight Watchers week 1.

Let's see, I still have 23 of my 35 flex points left. I may use 2 of those for ice cream later though. I don't know the 'rules' but I'm thinking that is pretty good. So far I love it...but we'll see what happens when I weigh in tomorrow. I'm not putting too much in to my first weigh in b/c my starting weight was based on the scale at the doctors office...tomorrow I will be using my crappy ass scale. I really need to invest in a new one!

The weekend has been so nice! My aunt was in from Florida. I picked her up on Wednesday and on Thursday we hit the flea market for fresh veggies and then we had a cook out that night. (this is where I used 7 of those flex points)
Friday was a rough day around here, Ian would.not.stop.crying. Not sure what his deal was, but it was not a good time.
Saturday we had another cookout with more good food. Somehow I managed to have 1/2 a point left over though...even with Sangria, which is what put me over on Thursday.
Today I've done some cleaning...and got great news on my car. The insurance company cut my dad a check for the hail damage. It was almost 3x what we were expecting. **doing a happy dance**

Okay...on to pictures!

Ian smiling

and both my me, they are not as innocent as they appear.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

And we have real smiles

Not just gas!!

It's the cutest thing ever!

Nope, no pics...I tried but all I ended up with was a cross eyed baby looking at me like I was crazy. Will post some soon though.

I can't believe how big he is getting, where did the past 2 months go?!??!?!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Getting the hang of this

So today is Day 3 of WW. (well, the end of day 3 anyway)

The first day I went over by 5 points b/c I forgot to log the pasta salad I ate. I didn't realize it until the next day. Damn.

Second day it was 8pm and I had 19 points left. WHOOPS. Part of the plan is to make sure you eat your points. I had a turkey hot dog and chips with salsa. Yum!

Today I have 5.5 points left and I'm not hungry, so I'm just letting them go. I went to subway and did not get a cookie, I haven't done that in over a year...maybe longer. 1 single subway cookie is 5 points. If you don't know anything about WW, to give you an idea, I had a grilled chicken salad with dressing for 4 points.

I'm not sure that I'm loosing anything (I hate scales), after all it's only been 3 days...but I did notice a jump in my energy. I'm not nearly as tired mid-day. Probably from not having so much crap in my system and drinking more water.

Oh...and I found a new favorite ice cream. Turkey Hill Light Raspberry Chocolate Chunk. OMG, so good!!

Wish me luck tomorrow, we're BBQing at my parents house. Thank goodness for turkey hot dogs!

Monday, August 4, 2008

Weight Watchers update

So I decided to start WW today...the weekend was just not the best time to start. (The weekend, btw, was fabulous. Pictures coming in another post.)

So far I really like it, it's sort of a game to figure out how many points are in what I already eat. Some things I'm trying to cut out completely and others I can still have, I just need to have less. My first goal is to hit 159lbs.

I haven't made it back to the gym yet, I know...shame shame. I'm working on it.

In other news, we're now debating on if I'm going to go back to work. It's all up in the air at the moment. Part of me wants to go back b/c I liked having something that was mine and that I was good at...other then just 'mom' stuff. I love being a mom, but it was nice to get out of that role for a few hours a day. And really, I have a cake job. I make my own schedule, I can work 3-4 days a week and I don't have to worry about getting fired or getting in trouble if I need to stay home with one of the boys. On the other hand, there is a lot that I hate about my job...the fact that there is no rhyme or reason to anything and that I work with people who make me want to rip my hair out.

Regardless, we're still running the numbers...but as it stands now, for me to work 3 days a week after taxes, childcare and gas I'll actually bring home a whole $200/month. It's ridiculous that I'll drive 60 miles a day when I work 1 block from my house. (we drive Ian to my parents house for my mom to watch him)

Ahh...well, I'll keep you posted!

Awesome Mom Monday!

So who is the Awesome Mom this week?


I have to say, I am extremely lucky to have friends with kids the same age as mine who are not only wonderful women but also amazing mothers. Natalie and I have been friends since 7th grade Science class, that is almost 15 years of friendship. Back then we never would have imagined we would be where we are, but I don't think either of us would change it.

What qualifies Natalie for Awesome Mom Monday? Where do I start?
When you find out your are pregnant as a 20 year old college student in a relationship you're not even sure is working anymore, it's a scary thing. She didn't freak out (okay, maybe a little...but who wouldn't?) she did what was best for her and for her daughter, and that happened to be getting out of that relationship and becoming a single mother. She is probably one of the strongest women I know and also one of the greatest. I can not even put in to words how much I look up to her for what she has managed to accomplish for herself and for her daughter in the past 6 years.

She worked full time while finishing college and managed to raise a beautiful and wonderful little girl. She does more for that little girl then most families I know who have both a mother and a father full time. She gives that little girl everything she possibly can and loves her more then the world. She strives everyday to do what is best and while she's stumbled along the way and made mistakes like every woman and mother does, at the end of the day, that little girl is one of the luckiest I know.

Friday, August 1, 2008

The SITS girls

What can I say, they're are at it again.

Check out the contest for a 4GB iPod Nano!!

My Husband Rocks Friday!

This is my first installment of 'My Husband Rocks Friday'. I didn't do it last week because A. I was busy and didn't have time and B. I was pissy. Yea, what can I say?

So, why does my husband rock? He's honest to a fault. Yes, sometimes this can be frustrating when I'd really rather he just tell me what I want to hear...but I know that I will always get the truth from him. If I ask him if he wants to do something, he won't just appease me and be pissy about it the whole time. If I say something he disagrees with, he'll tell me. He won't fight with me about it, he'll just tell me the truth. The best part? When it's just an ordinary afternoon and he tells me I look pretty, I know he means it. He doesn't hand out half hearted compliments.

When Aiden asks him a question, he doesn't just give him some generic answer...he gives him the truth, even if Aiden doesn't understand the answer yet. He is an amazing father, even if he doesn't realize it, and a wonderful husband. Yea, he rocks.