Thursday, January 22, 2009

Things I learned

Whew, what a week it's been!!!

Monday, the 12th, my mom called to tell my that my grandma wasn't doing well. She'd had surgery on the 8th and they removed most of her colon. Nice, huh? She'd come out of surgery but it didn't look good. My grandparents live with my 2 aunts (1 of which used to be my uncle...yea, long story) down in FL. They wanted my mom down there asap. Which, I totally understand...really, I do. That being said, my parents are in no financial shape to hop a plane just like that and I did not want my mom going down there by herself. (for her own mental health) So, the logical option...for me to FL...with the baby and my mom...who doesn't drive. Yep, logical, right?
So, what did I learn on this trip?

1. I love driving with a's fabulous, even when she tells me to do a u-turn in places where it's not legal.

2. My moms side of the family is a whole new brand of crazy. C.R.A.Z.Y.

3. I have a whole new understanding for why my mom is the way she is. I learned all kinds of fun facts, like that my grandma used to keep the windows and blinds closed at all times b/c she was paranoid. She also had my grandpa cover the bedroom windows with that sticky stuff that makes it look like frosted glass so nobody could see in...and they couldn't see out. My mom can't sleep with the bedroom door closed and hates to have the blinds closed.

4. There are a lot of old people in FL, most of which shouldn't be on the road...including my 84 year old grandfather.

5. My 50+ year old aunt has a younger, married, mexican boyfriend that my grandparents don't know about.

6. Both my aunts are control freaks

7. Ian is the best baby ever...he hardly fussed even though he was in the car for 20+ hours on the way there and then again a week later. He couldn't get down and crawl b/c they have 4 dogs and tile floors, he was a champ the whole time.

8. My husband is amazing and didn't bat an eye when I called him at work Monday and told him I was leaving for FL in the morning.

9. I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. I should have some kind of feelings about my grandma being in the hospital...I should have felt sad to leave since I only see that part of the family once every few years (haven't seen my grandparents since my wedding in 2004)...and I feel like a terrible person b/c I feel nothing. It's sad to see my grandma mentally slipping away...but it's sad like it's happening to someone else, not like it's my own family. I'm just not close to them...and while I used to think my aunt was the coolest person and lived this crazy fun life...I've come to see how she manipulates my mom, how she plays on her guilt and how my grandparents play favorites amongst their children and it makes me sad and sick at the same time.

10. I am truly and honestly grateful for the family and friends that I have. Family that love me no matter what, that don't use guilt or shame as a way to get what they want and who will be there for me always. For my friends who were immediately asking to help even though their lives are just as busy and hectic...and who were constantly checking on me while I was gone. It's nice to know you have people you can count on and that your kids can count on.

***By the grandmother is physically MUCH better. Mentally...she's completely out there. She knows who we are, she remembers a lot...but she can't quite put things together. The stories were pretty crazy.

1 comment:

JenM said...

Sounds like quite a trip. I'm glad you survived, and it sounds like Grandma is doing much better!