Monday, August 24, 2009

Dear BMW

Lexus, Hummer etc.,

You do not own the road.

I know that car salesman in the snazzy suit he can't afford with shoes that are so shiny they'll likely blind you if you happen to catch them in the sun told you that if you bought that car you can get anywhere you want at warp speed...but he lied.

You see, just because your car payment is more then my rent does not mean you get to cut in front of me, ride my bumper or give me dirty looks because I have the audacity to only drive 10 miles over the speed limit in my cheap 2001 Saturn.

Flying up on my rear, swerving in to the next lane and then cutting me off, only to slam on your breaks because guess what, whore, it's 5pm and traffic is not going to get you to that exit any faster. Oh, and when we get off at the same exact fucking exit, guess who is going to be waving from behind you? Yea, that would be me. Clearly it was worth endangering both our lives, along with my children, to be that car length ahead of me. I mean, you might get through the light 5 seconds before me. Obviously your time is precious and that 5 seconds is priceless.

There really should be laws against driving like an asshole. Don't even get me started on proper etiquette when leaving a crowded venue, like say, a concert. Here's a hint...everyone should let one person out b/c guess what?! EVERYONE NEEDS OUT OF THE DAMN PARKING LOT!!

vent over. carry on.

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