Thursday, December 29, 2011

It's getting to be that time of year

You know, the time that everyone says "This year will be different!"

Ya know what...this year won't be different. My kids will still drive me crazy, I'll still snap too fast, I'll still do something that I'm sure they'll talk about in therapy later and I'll continue to move forward. We'll have some really awesome days and we'll have some days that suck. Hopefully we'll pay off some bills, put some money in the bank and work on getting in to a better house.

If I have to set a goal for 2012, it's to make it the year I don't have to apologize.

I'm a people pleaser by nature, I like to make people happy and sometimes in doing so, I apologize even when I really don't have anything to be sorry about. It's a guilt issue...I have serious guilt issues. I'd like to let those go, not just for this year but for good.

I'm not sorry I had to throw away the toy you bought my kids, they're kids and the toy was was played with and now it's time for it to go. I'm not sorry that I don't feel like meeting you tonight because I'd rather sit on my ass and watch Netflix. Sometimes, I'd just rather sit on my ass and watch Netflix. I'm not sorry that I'm not available every.single.time you need me to be. I'm not sorry that my kids, my husband and my marriage come first. I'm not sorry that my parenting isn't the same as yours. I'm not sorry that my house is a mess, I have Netflix to watch and games of candyland to play. I'm not sorry that you are an idiot and I can't be bothered to deal with you anymore. I'm just not.
On the flip side, I'd like to improve so that I don't *have* to say I'm sorry. This mostly applies to work.

So while no, I'm not making resolutions for the year here is my list of things I will not be doing this year (in no particular order)

*picking up running. I don't run...unless someone is trying to snag the last bottle of Mascato at the grocery store. Then, maybe.
*taking a picture every day
*blogging on a regular basis
*keeping my house company ready every day