Monday, January 2, 2012

OMG do they like me?!

I read this post this morning, while watching a Casper Christmas movie with the boys and drinking coffee.

It hit me. The reason I don't always say what I want to say, why I don't always blog about the things I want to blog about. The reason I bite my tongue when sometimes I shouldn't or why I let things bottle up inside until I'm ready to explode.

I want people to like me. I enjoy being the best friend, the girl people go to for help, for advice or just to talk. At some point in my life I decided that I if I said the wrong thing or did the wrong thing people wouldn't like me. I couldn't even begin to pin point when this happened. I have amazing friends and I'm pretty sure even if they disagreed with something I said, shared differing views on things of major importance, they'd still be my friends.

So the question is, why do I hold back? I'm not ever going to be the funny one, the controversial one, the life of the party or the girl that always has it together. I don't fit in to any of those categories. It's not me, it's not my personality. I'm never going to care about international news the way my husband does, I'm never going to be a tv junkie, follow celebrity gossip or have a strong opinion on color schemes and clothes.

At some point I need to get back to being just me and stop trying to be the person I think people will like. In the end it doesn't matter if everyone likes me as long as I like me.

First up on my list of ways to get back to just being me? Facebook friend purge. I have almost 300 Facebook friends. I'm sorry, but I don't think I know 300 people that really give a damn about what is going on in my life.

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