Ian's first bath

Okay, I'm not going to lie, it's his second bath. My camera batteries were dead for the 'real' first one. Of course I made the first one super short once I realized this so I could still get a good reaction for the second 'first' bath. :) Hmm...do I have another water baby on my hands?






And we can't forget my little helper...posing for the camera :)




And the post bath pictures. Check out that hair! I don't think it looks red in person at all, but it sure does against that yellow blanket!!

Random thoughts of the day

Random thought 1.

I have no drama in my life. None. Zero. Zilch.
And you know what? I love it! My marriage isn't perfect and my life isn't perfect (and lord knows my house is FAR from perfect) but there is no drama. No fights, no craziness. Yes, some annoying family members and the occasional disagreement over stupid stuff, but nothing that would make for good reality tv. It just works for us. I don't surround myself with people who bring drama in to my life...it's not worth it.

Which brings me to Random thought 2.

Have you ever had someone hurt you and years later you can't seem to get over it?

I realized today that 6 years before Ian was born was about the time I was telling my parents I was pregnant with Aiden. I don't remember the exact date but I was in a wedding at the end of May and it was a week or two later that I finally took a test.
I called off work and told Jared the next morning. That evening we told my parents and on our way home I called my best friends. One of them said something that really hurt me and 6 years later I still find myself thinking about it. We're still best friends but I think something changed for me in that moment. Something in our friendship changed and I don't think it'll ever be the same. I love her dearly and I know she would do anything for me, and I would do anything for her, but it's...different. Do I forgive her? Of course, but I can't forget.

Are you sure?

Some of Aiden's new favorites:

"Are you sure?"

The sky is blue
Are you sure?
Grandma isn't home
Are you sure?
It's nap time
Are you sure?

You get the idea...*insert eye roll here*

"blah blah blah"
Um, what? Are you 12?

"Whatever, I can do whatever I want"
Again, when did you become a teenager?

"lets roll out"
Yea...thanks uncle Troy

He has also picked up my mothers accent. My mom was born and raised in OH but somehow picked up a WV/southern accent, it's especially bad when she's been drinking. Yep, my son has picked it up, it's funny...but it's not.

Crying over spilled milk

Literally.

I decided to try breastfeeding with Ian. It didn't work with Aiden and I didn't have the support or knowledge to keep trying so I quit very early on. I was fine with that, I have no qualms about giving my kids formula. In fact, my reasons for breastfeeding are more selfish then anything. Although yes, I realize it is what is best, I've never been an over achiever, so second best is fine by me. Anyway...A. It's FREE and B. You supposedly loose weight faster. See? Selfish. Of course there are selfish reasons for formula too, the big one being that anyone can feed him and it gives mommy more freedom.

So, we started the whole breastfeeding thing and it started off well enough and went downhill quickly. Ian is tongue tied and couldn't latch properly. I started exclusively pumping when I couldn't take the pain anymore. So far that has been working out, it's not ideal, but it works. I try to pump every 2-3 hours but I'm not going to lie, sometimes I forget until later or I just don't have time. It's hard to juggle a 5 year old and an infant and still have time to sit down for 30 mins and pump. I am, however, proud to say that I haven't had to supplement with formula since the first couple days I started pumping.

This afternoon I fed Ian and then pumped. When I finished I set the pump next to me to snuggle Ian, who was getting fussy. Aiden came over to give me a hug and kiss (nap time for the older, but still fussy, one)...he must have knocked the pump over and I didn't notice until he picked it up. It started at just over 3oz and when he picked it up...less then 2.
I cried...literally. Yes, tears over an ounce of breast milk...but seriously, that stuff is like liquid gold and I work damn hard at having enough!

BTW,if you are wondering, like I was, if it should be spilled milk or spilt milk...check here: GoEnglish.com

Birth Photography

I know some people might think it's strange to have a professional photographer come in to take pictures of you giving birth, I was one of them...until I saw the pictures.

I had Steph from 831 Photography in the hospital with me from the beginning of labor until the end. I know, you are probably thinking WHY? The short answer...why not?

The long answer...it's a once in a life time opportunity. No matter what happens you will never be able to recreate the day your child was born. It's simply not possible. Now, I've been talking to Steph via a message board for some time and I'd met her once, but even if I hadn't, I still would have had her there. She did an amazing job and I can not say enough about how she captures the emotions of such an amazing event. I know it's not for everyone, for some people they don't want anyone in the room except their husband and doctor and there is nothing wrong with that. Me? I figure there are so many nurses and doctors there with my goods on display, what's one more. Plus, it's not like she's at the foot of the bed snapping shots of anything I wouldn't want to share with my family. The pictures are tasteful and beautiful...and priceless.

Now...to decide on which ones to order.

For anyone who hasn't seen them (and really, I've been such an attention whore, I doubt there is anyone reading this who HASN'T seen them) here are the slide show links :)

http://www.831photography.com/customers/ianclark

http://www.831photography.com/customers/ianclarkday2

2 weeks old

How on earth it's been two weeks already, I have no idea, but it has been.
He's amazing and perfect and I don't ever want him to grow up. Okay, maybe he can grow up a little...so he will let me sleep more then 2 hours and sit up by himself. Then he can stop.

My attempt to be good

I really want to start working out again, once I get the okay from the doctor. I also want to start eating better and am planning on starting weight watchers next month. At the grocery store yesterday, in an attempt to be good, I bought the Hostess Cupcake 100 calorie packs. They looked pretty good and were on sale.

I just opened one (yes at 9:30am) and while they are tasty, I could eat the entire box in one sitting...and follow it up with ice cream.

Could someone please give my body the memo that I am no longer pregnant? I think it's confused.

You made that look easy, Ian's story

Welcome to the world:
Ian
Birthdate: June 12, 2008
Time: 10:12am
Weight: 7lbs 12oz
Height: 20"




Wednesday night I had been having contractions, but this was nothing new. Every night around 9pm I would have contractions. They weren't painful and they'd never regulate, just annoying Braxton Hicks type contractions. Honestly, it was getting old pretty quickly. When I went to the doctor the day before I was almost 4cm dialated and 75% thinned out, but I walked around at 4cm for weeks with Aiden...so while I was happy about progress I wasn't getting my hopes up.
While the annoying contractions were going on Wednesday night I went ahead and got the last of my bag packed. Better safe then sorry. Around 9:30 I tried to go to bed but couldn't sleep. I came downstairs and started timing my contractions, they were getting stronger but still 8-11 minutes apart. Around 12am I gave up and went to bed, accepting the fact that this baby was not coming.
An hour and a half later, roughly, real contractions started. I ignored the first couple b/c I was just plain annoyed. I figured they'd just stop like they always did and I didn't feel like getting out of bed. Around 1:45am I gave in and went downstairs. Sure enough, I started timing them and they worked out to be 3-4 minutes apart. I called the doctor and woke Jared up around 2:30. The conversation with Jared went something like this:

Me: Hun, just a heads up, I think we're having a baby
Him: Okay, how far apart are your contractions?
Me: 4 minutes
Him: Okay *rolls over*

I go to get Aiden up to which he replies "But I'm tired and it's still dark out!"

Jared is still in bed, I flip the light on "Oh, we need to go now?"
**he later admitted that while he asked about contractions, he had no idea what 4 minutes vs. 10 mins apart means**
He also wanted to know if he had time to make coffee. Um, yes you probably do...but no, lets go!
I called my parents and Steph from 831 Photography to let them know we were on our way. I know others wanted to know when I went in to labor but I didn't think they really wanted to know badly enough that it warranted a 3am wake up call.

We get to the hospital and they plop my butt in a wheel chair and off we go.

Things progressed relatively fast from there, fast for giving birth anyway. They checked me, I was 6cm at that point. The nurse got my IV in on the second try, which is pretty good considering my veins suck but she could have got it on the first try if she would have just listened to me and used my left hand, the only place anyone has ever managed to get an IV in me.
The times are all blurred but I was getting my epidural when my parents showed up, which by the way they didn't get on the first try! Yea, it's painful and with Aiden they had me sit on the side of the bed and lean way over...this time they had me laying on my side and wanted me to curl my knees up and push my back out. Um, did you happen to see the belly? Curling is a little difficult. At any rate they did get the drugs going and after the weird tingly in my legs and my entire lower half became numb, the fun started.
I pretty much stalled at 8cm, even after they broke my water. They ended up giving me a few shots of pitocin to get me going and then after about 5-6 rounds of pushing...there he was. Ian.

Of course I hear the doctor say 'he's got some dark hair' as he's crowning and I'm thinking "WHAT?" If he wasn't emerging from my body I wouldn't think he was my kid. I was bald, Aiden was bald, Jared was blonde...where on earth did this dark haired baby come from?! At any rate, he was perfect as could be! 10 fingers and 10 toes, none of which are webbed. Yes, two of Jared's toes are slightly webbed.


As for the recovery, it was fairly uneventful. Although one thing I forgot about...the itching. OMG the itching. Once the epidural starts to wear off your chest itches like you wouldn't believe. It is the most annoying thing ever...I guess if I'd ever been in to drugs I might understand what it's like to go through withdraw.


The nurses kept telling me how easy I made it look and that I needed to come back and try for a girl. Not a bad idea but talk to me in a few years. As for it being easy...it was. I think giving birth is one of the easiest most natural things I have ever done in my life. It's also the most amazing thing I have ever done and it makes me a little sad that there is a chance, a very good chance, that I will never do it again. All the aches and pains of pregnancy, all the annoying sleepless nights before the baby gets here, the lack of appetite, the wanting to eat everything in site...all the whining and complaining...totally and completely worth it. There is absolutely nothing else like it...and to hold that baby for the first time, to watch him open his little eyes to a whole new world, it's surreal. It's like nothing else and I don't think anyone can truly appreciate it the way a mother does, not even dad.

**All pictures courtesy of 831 Photography**
(another post about why I had a professional photographer there and slideshows coming later)

Eviction Notice

I gave this child his eviction notice on Saturday...I'm still waiting. He's a rather rude tenant with all his kicking and punching the walls, keeping me up at all hours of the night only to wake me in the early hours of the morning by bouncing around like he's at a birthday party at Pump It Up. Rude I tell you.

Apparently he thinks my eviction notice is funny and is going to force me to take matters in to my own hands to get him out. Bring on the chipotle and yoga ball.

Now, lets talk about the weather.

I love summer, I live in the wrong state b/c I could handle the heat all the time and I despise winter. I hate being cold, I have everything about winter except Christmas. Christmas is the only time I find snow to be acceptable. Okay, and I do enjoy eating large amounts of cookies and covering my growing stomach in large sweaters.

Normally I would relish the fact that after months of cold weather we hit 90 in June. Really, that just doesn't happen...but this is OH so we can go from frost one night to 90 the next.

Of course this is not my typical June. When it hit 75 I felt like it was 90. You do the math. I don't have air conditioning. I'm hot. I'm pregnant...39 weeks and 4 days pregnant to be exact...and did I mention that I am HOT? I don't sweat, thank goodness b/c I don't like sweat...and I am a sweaty beast these days. I don't like it. My feet look like sausages and I had to break down and take my wedding rings off.

I'm done.finished.fullybaked.cooked

Are you going to have a baby?

Aiden: Mommy, on Friday is that baby going to come out of your bellly?
Me: Maybe, he could show up anytime now
Aiden: Is it going to hurt?
Me & Jared: Yea (b/c Jared would know...)
Aiden: Is it going to bleed?
Me: *laughing* maybe a little
Aiden: That's okay, you can just put a bandaid on it
Me: Yea, something like that.

Aiden has become obsessed with when this baby is coming, almost as much as I have but for very different reasons. He wants to hug and kiss 'the baby' and was completely appalled when he lifted my shirt to find my belly button hiding behind my maternity pants. Apparently the only way he can talk or kiss the baby, is if it directly in to my belly button.
Unfortunately, I'm fairly certain Aiden thinks this kid is going to pop out a walking talking toddler for him to play with and boss around. We've tried explaining that he's going to be little for a long time (long time in the eyes of a 5 year old anyway) and that he's really not going to do much for awhile. Aiden nods and agrees, but I really don't think he gets it.

At any rate, it dawned on me today that no matter what, in a mere 2.5 weeks I will be having this baby. Hopefully sooner but if he decides to be stubborn like his brother, the doctor already said they would induce a week past my due date. That would be June 19th for anyone keeping track.
2.5 weeks...yikes.

I'm huge, I'm uncomfortable and I'm ready to have this baby...but wow, it's kind of scary that it's about to be a reality.

Things I should have done but don't:
Crib in baby's room
changing table in baby's room
house clean
hospital bag packed
coming home outfit picked out
car seat installed in car

What can I say...I like to wait until the last minute to do everything...hmm...and I wonder where my kid(s) get it :)