It's that time of year again!

Yep, New Years...which means New Years RESOLUTIONS!

I have a few, I guess. Not so much b/c it's the new year...more b/c things are changing around here and I need to change with them or it's not going to work. It just so happens to coincide withe new years. So, whatever...here they are.

1. Attempt to keep my house in order. Not just throw everything in the closet b/c people are coming over order...I mean real order. Like toys actually have homes and my couch is not constantly covered in the never ending cycles of laundry.

2. Be debt free by the end of the year. This is pretty much an ongoing thing. Luckily, we don't accumulate more, we're just still paying off the old stuff. Eh, whatever....it's a work in progress. We've paid of 3 of the biggies and another will be gone by the end of Jan...that leaves 2 bigger ones (a student loan and a CC) and 1 small one (the other student loan) left.

3. Attempt to be a better mom and appreciate the time I spend with my boys...rather then wanting to claw my eyes out if I have to play one more game of I-spy.

4. Plan more date nights. We need this...I think everyone needs this.

Meal planning, day 1

So I decided since I'm now a work at home mom, I'd try my hand at this whole meal planning thing...and being organized...and cleaning my house on a regular basis...and having perfectly behaved children...or something like that. Baby steps, right?

So, I sat down over the weekend and took stock of what we had. We have enough meat for the next year, so with that, I'm good.

Yesterday was lasagna...and I have to say, it came out damn good. It's one of those things that I throw together. It's never the same recipe. Sometimes it's better then others. Last night was definitely one of the better batches. Which is good b/c I made a TON so I could freeze half.
Today we're having left overs b/c I'm busy cleaning for our NYE get together.
Yes, busy cleaning, as is obvious by my blogging. What?

So far so good.

A girl on one of my boards gave me the idea to start using Google calendar. I was using Cozi, which I love...but Jared never checked it. At least with google, it's on his homepage, he has to look at it at some point. Plus, he can check it from his phone. I filled it in with all our appointments, bill due dates, birthdays, what we're having for dinner on what night and even what chores I want do on each day.

Yea, sounds great in theory, huh? I give it a week before I forget all about it and I decide I don't want what is on the menu, we're ordering pizza.

BTW, in case you are wondering (and I'm sure you were!)...WW is on hold until after Aiden's birthday party (2 weeks) I got down to 149, I'm back at 151 and I'm certain that number will go up more before it's time to get back on the bandwagon :)

The crappy Christmas blog

The one where I sound like an ungrateful brat. Yep, that's what this one is!

For weeks my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas and each time I would tell her that the only thing I could really use was gift cards. Gift cards to clothing stores or Target. Why? B/c I'm working on this whole getting skinny thing and when I get there, I want to go shopping. If I have gift cards, I won't feel guilty for spending money on clothes for me. Seems simple enough.
So...on Christmas morning what do I open instead of gift cards? CLOTHES! 3 shirts...2 XL's and an XXL! REALLY MOM?!?! On top of that, one is black with a huge gold butterfly on it. My head would be the head of the butterfly. Even if it did fit, there's no way I would wear it. She did get me a gift card, for WalMart. Great, I can buy groceries. Yes, I realize they sell clothes but after working my ass off to get skinny you'd better believe I'm taking my ass to the mall!
**The non bitchy part of me should mention she bought Jared and I a double sided cast iron griddle, a new large skillet and I did get a CD, Book and cute set from Bath and Body**

Now...on to my grandparents. Oy. They live in FL and god love em'...they insist on sending gifts. They're old (grandma just turned 80) so I expect the crazy stuff..but they live with my 2 aunts, one of which is in her 40's and pretty trendy. Every year they send a box of oranges, which is fine...and this year they sent my mom a check and told her to go buy everyone something they could use. Perfect!
They still sent a box, from everyone. I got a set of roosters. Ceramic bright red roosters, with a matching kitchen timer. I realize some of you don't know me in real life, but I'm not exactly in to the whole country look. Roosters...really, not my style. These roosters especially are god aweful ugly. They have white elephant written all over them for next year! I wish I would have taken a picture but, I forgot.
I did get pictures of the gifts they sent Jared, dad and Aiden:

A set of ceramic fish for Jared...he likes to fish, so obviously this makes sense.


A duck dish for my dad and my brother...b/c they like ducks?


And a puzzle for Aiden...a 750 piece puzzle for my 6 year old b/c, you know, 1000 was just too many.

Girls Night

Last night, for the first time in I don't know how long, all of the girls got together for dinner. 8 of us. This never happens, we're lucky to get 3 of us in the same room, at the same time unless it involves a wedding. Sad but true.
It was awesome to see everyone. We all went to HS together, except my cousin, but she was with me so much she became on honorary member of the group.
We had dinner and yummy drinks, we chatted and just got a chance to catch up. It was really really nice. It reminded me that I'm really lucky to have such awesome friends. Friends that I talk to everyday and friends that I may only talk to a few times a month. Regardless, they are some of the greatest women I have ever met and I love them.
And sadly, we didn't take a single picture!

Last night also gave me a chance to just be me for awhile. I wasn't a wife or a mom, I ordered what I wanted, I drank what I wanted...I headed out to Karol's Christmas party since I had 2 hours to kill and then headed to a late movie. I didn't get home until almost 1am, went to bed around 2 and stayed in my nice warm bed, that I didn't have to share, until 10:30am. (Jared was "camping" with Aiden and my mom had Ian...a story for another blog) It was fabulous and so much fun! It reminded me of my pre-baby days when I could pick up and do something without having to think about it or worry about who would be getting up with the kids in the morning or if I could afford the $8.25 for the movie. And yes, I loved every minute of it...but I'm happy to be home tonight with all of my boys. I wouldn't trade them for the world, it's just nice to be free of them once in awhile.

6 month update

It's a little late, Ian was 6 months on the 12th but we just went today for his well baby check.

He stats
Height: 26.25"
Weight:15lbs 10oz
Head: 17

He's still on the low end for weight, but catching up in height. The doc heard a slight heart murmur so we're headed to the hospital in Feb for an ultrasound. He doesn't seem concerned, said it's usually nothing, so I'm sticking with the don't worry until necessary attitude.

Other stuff: He can crawl in reverse, he's working on forward motion. Right now he just gets up on all fours and sort of lunges forward...but going backwards, he's good. He has his bottom 2 teeth and I'm pretty sure there are more on the way. He can now roll both ways, so yea, he'll be mobile soon enough. Yikes, watch out!!

And on to the important part: PICTURES!!!



And, all of my boys!

I've won an award *thank you thank you*

"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

There is a cute little picture that goes with this award but my computer hates me and won't let me post. Maybe I'll remember to edit this post and try again...then again, maybe I won't.

Karol aka Mrs. Incredible gave me this award b/c she loves me and she rocks.

So, now I have to give this same award to my friends. So, here goes (btw, go visit Karol's blog so you can steal the "award" picture, hopefully your computer doesn't hate you) Oh, and I'm not doing 8...sorry.

Amy @ http://aimlou.blogspot.com/
Mamalicious @ http://www.multislackingmama.com/
The one and only Belle @ http://shouldabeenabelle.blogspot.com/
Brooke @ http://bloggingisconceited.blogspot.com/

It's a fiesta!

Okay, it's really a Fiestaware giveaway over at Ravings of a Mad Housewife

Even if you're not interested in the giveaway, you should go check out her blog b/c it's freaking hilarious!

The winner will be drawn on Christmas Eve...and since I don't actually need new dishes, if I win my dishes are going to Natalie. :)

In one month

I will have a six year old.

If he lives that long...and if I don't sell him to the circus.

O.M.G.

Where did the time go?!?!?

Some people I will never understand

When do you just admit that your kid is an asshole?

And no, this isn't an Aiden blog. Although it does remind of an episode of Lucky Louie. Anyone else watch when it was on? Love that show!

Anyway...when do you just admit that you've done everything you can as a parent, given them every chance and literally left your home open to them for their entire life and they just don't seem to give a damn. When do you say enough is enough? And then what?

As a parent, this scares the hell out of me. I always imagine that my boys will grow up to love and respect me, I hope that when they're older they want to bring their girlfriends home to meet me, I hope they want to go out lunch with their mom or call just to say hi. It's what every mother wants. So what happens when what you get instead is disrespect, lies, and betrayal? How do you deal with it? Do you make them leave with no place to go, no money? Do you try to make them get help, yet again? Do you put your life on hold trying to help them, put your own mental health at risk by letting them stay?

I don't know the answers, I don't know what you do...and it scares me that some day I might be faced with the same problems. The same issues. It's mental, I know it is. There is a history of mental problems in my family an undiagnosed mile long. Nobody wants to admit, nobody wants to talk about. Sweep it under the rug, self medicate, pretend it doesn't exist, live in denial.

I wish I knew how to help...I wish there was something I could do before it's too late. Before things go too far, if they haven't already...but what?
I'm just the little sister.

No more pity party

Seriously (and yes, I realize I use that word a lot) I had this whole blog about how depressed I was and how bummed I was about yesterday and the bank and the money...and how I suck at life.

But...fuck that.

I don't suck at life. Sometimes I suck at money...and sometimes I suck at being a mom...and sometimes I suck at being a wife...and most of the time I suck at keeping my house clean (that one's no joke). BUT I do not suck at life. At some point in time I am going to find something that I am good at, damn good at. Hell, maybe I'll be the best peanut butter sandwich maker, whatever it is, I'll figure it out...eventually. I'm just a slow learner, but I'm okay with that. I'll take being an okay mom and an okay wife to being nothing at all any day.

I do think there is something to be said for positive thinking. No, I don't think if I keep telling myself I'll win the lottery, I will...but maybe if I keep telling myself that we'll make it through this, just like everything else...then, we will. That's my belief system. I may not always believe in myself or my abilities but I do believe that no matter what, I can make it work. And really, life is way too short to waste more then, mmmm 24 hours, freaking out about things that you can't change. You just have to deal with and move on.

My google horoscope kind of freaks me out

Todays:
You might be tempted to avoid dealing with a financial issue today, but it's wiser to handle it before it gets worse. It may be as simple as paying a bill that is due or untangling a problem with one of your accounts. Whatever it is, don't let your resistance about money matters in general get in the way of taking care of business while it's still easily manageable.


Yea...I am having a bad day. A really bad day.

I'm sick...I have a kid with an ear infection...I suddenly have the need to wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep...oh, and I manage to over draw our account..SIX times. Yep, six. I miscalculated how long it would take my deposit to actually show up and how long it would take our rent check to clear. The rent check cleared first. Lovely. The refunded 3 of the charges after I, literally, broke down on the phone. What a lovely mess I was.

More on my messy life another day, I'm tired and the baby is crying.

I am editing this post to explain how I managed to overdraw my account six times so that you don't think I'm a complete dumbass. (which, I am)

I put Jared's paycheck in on Sat...I also went grocery shopping, got gas, had lunch etc....I made sure not to spend more then what was in the account before I put his check in. No problem. We NEVER EVER run the account that low but we paid off a hefty debt last month and were still playing catch up.
Fast forward to Monday...I pay rent, she cashed it that day, at the same bank. It cleared on Monday...along with all of my purchases from Sat BEFORE the deposit was "available". It didn't even occur to me that this would happen, yes I said I was a dumb ass. I knew we were close, but I thought it would be fine. I was wrong.