Family Dynamics

For whatever reason there is a lot that isn't talked about on my mom's side of the family. I think this is probably where a lot of my "bottle it up until I explode" issues come from. They just aren't big communicators and they like to sweep everything under the rug. Don't talk about it and it doesn't exist!

With my grandma's funeral service last weekend the WHOLE family was together. My aunts, uncle, distant relatives and friends of my mom's that I hadn't seen in ages.

It was interesting, to say the least.

Through this, I started talking with my cousin. We're 10 years part so it's not like we really grew up together. We shared grandparents but well, her story was a bit more complicated then mine. Her parents split up when she was young...and her biological father was my mom's brother...except, well, he's now a woman. Yep. Imagine how well that went over 35 years ago. So, my "uncle" was never spoken about by the time I was born. I didn't even know there was another sibling. I know I had this cousin but with so many cousins and distant family on my dad's side of the family, I never questioned it. I didn't figure it all out until I was a teen. She's now back in our lives, she lives with my aunt and my grandparents (well, my grandpa now). She's...um, well, she's different. Not someone I could deal with on a daily basis, but she's family. So you know, I have to bite my tongue and smile and keep quiet...b/c that is what we do.

My cousin and I had some time to really sit down and talk...and share memories...and while some were very similar, others were very different. Needless to say, she has her own set of issues...as we all do...but I think she may win the prize.

Regardless, I'm hoping that we can keep in better touch and talk more. I'm curious about a lot of things and it seems we can fill in a lot of blanks for each other. I have no idea why there are so many secrets, so much that isn't talked about...but man does it help explain so much about my own family and what makes them tick.

Thank goodness for my kids being as crazy as they are, they were a great distraction for everyone last weekend! Talk about a reminder that life goes on.

Did I tell you about my kick ass birthday?

I don't think I did!

Okay, so my actual birthday was a bit emotional. I cried a lot, I was irritated and cranky and well...just call me a drama whore queen. It wasn't all about my actual birthday, it was just a lot of things all at once and well, I needed a good cry.

Saturday I woke up feeling a ton better.

Saturday night my fabulous husband and amazing friends surprised me. Hubby and I were supposed to be going out for drinks and dessert after a super yummy dinner at home (that I didn't have to cook!). We pulled in to a local bar which I thought was a bit odd since we were supposed to be headed to a restaurant, but I really didn't think too much of it. Just figured he decided to go there since the drinks are cheap and they have pool tables. All of my friends had done a pretty good job of making themselves unavailable....but surprise, there they were.

So yea, they pretty much rock. I drank way too much and got to hang out with some of the best people I know. I cried again, happy tears. I am a lucky lucky girl, for real.
Took a few humorous walks down memory lane.
Did a few shots.
Was showered with gift certificates for crack Starbucks and then shocked in to tears again with this:

There is another "egg" charm that is adorable, but I can't find a good picture of it. Regardless, I'm still...just...wow...speechless.
Was still in bed before 2am.
Had breakfast made for me in the morning while I lounged around and recovered.
30 isn't so bad after all...but damn does it take longer to recover!

30 RAK: Week 1 + 3

11/1: Gave the table next to us my coupon for a free brownie sundae. The 2 year old appreciated it the most, I think :)

11/2: Paid for the car behind me at Starbucks. I hope it started a chain reaction.

11/3: Left a reusable bag for the car next to me at the grocery store.

11/4: Read and left blog comments for all the new posts on my blog roll, along with some blogs that I stalk and rarely comment on.

11/5: I need to make this one up, it was a pretty rough day and honestly, I didn't do a damn thing all.day.long. unless you count curling up on the couch watching Private Practice and crying. Oh, and reading the Little People Farm pop-up book 140000 times. 

11/6: Let the mall kiosks people give me their speeches, and smile and didn't try to run away.  Took a picture of a family at Build A Bear. The little boy was 1 and just so cute, even if it took a few tries for him to look at me instead of Daddy!

11/7: I made a donation to Voices Against Brain Cancer in honor of my uncle.

**My original post was scheduled for 1/8 but for some reason it never posted. So, here are 3 more days! :)

11/8: Took a treat to the board meeting, granted most of them didn't get eaten but I let one of the moms take the left overs home.

11/9: Took steak and potatoes to my dad who has been a bachelor for the past 3 weeks with my mom in FL. I also stayed at his house all.day.long to wait for his tv to be delivered.

11/10: Sent a check to donate 2 signs that are being put in for a family in my home town who has a little boy battling cancer right now. It's a small town and he goes to school with a few of my friends kids. Sad sad sad :(

What have you done lately? Any ideas for me? So far, I am LOVING this.

High School Randomness

I have a ton of people from HS on my facebook, I'm still friends with the same group of girls I've known since 7th grade, so obviously they're on there. There are a few people I've come across that I really was curious as to how they were doing...but for the most part, I just felt bad denying their request. I've often considered weeding out the ones I haven't talked to since graduation and have had on my FB and yet have had zero contact with. It seems silly but I don't, I leave them there because in true HS fashion I'm worried of what they'll think. I'm worried I'll hurt their feelings.
So tonight a girl that I graduated with sends me an IM to say Happy Birthday. We weren't close friends back then, we had a few classes together and she was always kind of quiet but super nice to everyone. We chatted a bit, turns out she lives out of state, was drunk and missing home. She told me that she remember me as being down to earth, classy and smart.

Um, I realize most of you didn't know me in HS but classy and smart were not two words I would use to describe me. I wasn't a heathen, but I wasn't exactly "classy". As for smart, eh, I got by.
I guess it's funny to me because, well, you just don't see yourself the way other people see you...no matter how old you are. And no matter how long you've been out of HS, it's nice to hear that people thought GOOD things about you, since chances are you didn't always feel good about yourself.
So, the next time a random person from HS pops up in your news feed, maybe send a kind word or two. Sometimes that's all it takes. (This coming from the girl that still hides in the cereal aisle if she sees someone at the grocery store because I A. look like hell and B. am worried they won't remember me. Yep, that's me)

Huh

The other night Hubby was talking to Aiden and asked what he wanted to get me for my birthday. He thought about it and wasn't sure, so Hubby suggested he really think about what I would like.

Aiden: Well, she likes food, maybe we could get her a piece of food.

Hmmmm.

Aiden: Or, she does a lot of dishes, we could get her a cup.

Again, hmmmm....

Hubby just left to take him shopping, I'm a bit concerned with what they will come home with.

It's killing me

Apparently I am a control freak.

Stop laughing at the fact that I am just now realizing this.

Seriously, stop.

When Hubby asked what I wanted for my birthday I had just spent weeks trying to figure out something fun yet inexpensive for us to do on our anniversary. I was so over it. I told him that I didn't know, I wanted to do something but I didn't want to plan it. I was over the planning and the figuring out baby sitters and money and all of it.

A few weeks ago I sent him an email and suggested a new lens for the camera but after doing some research realized that we really need to save up and spend a good chunk of cash on one and it wasn't in the budget right now. I didn't give him any other ideas.
Monday evening he walks in and hands me a folded up Halloween tablecloth. I was making dinner and dealing with the kids and I just stared at him like he had two heads and told him to just put it in the box with the other stuff. He just kept handing me the stupid thing, so I took it and wrapped in the middle was this:

I think maybe he was tired of sharing his...but I don't care, YAY!

Now, on to the part that is killing me. He asked me today if I'd like to go to dinner on Saturday. I reminded him that our sitter is out of town and that we are supposed to be on a spending strike.

He says he will find a sitter.

Um, what? I'm not sure he has ever called a sitter in the almost 8 years since Aiden was born. For real. Fact is, it's kind of killing me not to plan this. I always plan date night. I ask where he wants to go or what he feels like doing...but I call the sitter (my mama), I pack the boys up, I drop them off...I set the time and if we need reservations or tickets, I handle them. It is taking every ounce of willpower I have not to text him and ask who he's going to ask and what time he's planning on going and all the other little things that go in to attempting a dinner out sans children.

It's all just so complicated!

30 Thirty

It's November 1st, which means in a few short days I'll be turning 30.
Yikes.
I'm not sure WHY this is such an issue for me, but it is.

My friend Natalie posted about Robyn and how she celebrated her 38th Birthday. I loved this idea.

Of course, I don't have any illusions about being able to do that in one day. So, starting today...for the 30 days of November...I'm going to complete one totally Random Act of Stacy each day! :)

No, I won't be posting daily about it...you should know better then that....but I will update.

Wish me luck!!