Thursday, October 8, 2009

Girls are evil

I am spending my morning catching up on blogs. My mom has the littlest guy and the other one is at school. I should be cleaning...or grocery shopping...or fighting my way through the mound of laundry in my basement, but I'm not. Instead I made myself a homemade white mocha (not as good as Starbucks but I'm trying here!) and I'm sitting in front of my computer reading blogs I've missed all week. I see the Sissy has a new post...she's one of my faves so of course I run over to check it out. You should too, here!

Okay, back now?? Great. Moving on.

You see her post about her son being invited to a a girls me thinking (hey, it happens!). Thing 1 has always had a thing for the ladies...and now that he's a big 1st grader, we can't walk down the hall without girls saying "Hi" or rolling down windows and screaming from their cars as we leave school, some I know from last year and some are new. Sometimes he'll grin and wave and other times he pretends not to hear them, of course I smack him on the head and tell him to say hi. Yes, some things will never boys ignoring the cute girls b/c really, they're just scared...and the girls thinking they're so cool and mysterious, when really they're just kind of an ass. (wait...did I just call my son an ass?)
Here's the thing though...girls are evil. They're mean and manipulative and someday they're going to break my poor boys heart(s)...and then there will be that one who doesn't and I'll have a daughter in-law. I don't think I want that. So, I've decided he should just be gay.

I know, I know...what kind of mother would wish that on her child....but hear me out. Aside from the lifetime of ridicule, having to fight for every little thing, not being treated as an equal because, you know, marriage in only right if it's between a man and a woman (sarcasm people, sarcasm)...BUT it would take the whole prissy girl issue out of the equation, and that's good for me.

What? It's not about me? psh!

How many months of therapy will he be in when he's old enough to find this post online? hmmm


natalie said...

Hmmm....maybe I'm a little biased since I have the princess, and maybe from experience, but I don't think guys have it all going on either. They can be pretty mean and manipulative too. I think Chlo-bug should just stay single forever :)

Karol said...

Bwahaha! That's pretty damn funny! I feel ya though! These girls are vicious! (sp?) We could always arrange a marriage! lol...

Sara Elizabeth Bonds said...

Haha! Something about this post made me think of the dinner scene in the movie The Family Stone. In that scene Diane Keaton jokes that she wanted all of her boys to be gay, that way they'd never leave her. Of course, someone at the dinner table had to throw a shit fit because she said that. I would imagine a lot of people are throwing a shit fit over you saying that. Not me, though! :)