Thursday, April 22, 2010

Writers workshop

This is my first writers workshop from mamakat. I needed a distraction this morning, so, here it is. My prompt today? Divorce.

Here's my take: never say never.
I plan on tormenting loving my husband for the rest of my life. Right now, today, that is the plan. That was the plan yesterday and that is most likely going to be the plan tomorrow...but I don't have a crystal ball. I don't know what the future holds for any of us, maybe he'll wake up tomorrow and decide that I am bat shit crazy and he can't deal anymore. Maybe I'll decide I was really meant to be a gypsy or that I want to buy a house on the beach and drink fruity umbrella drinks and have affairs with cute cabana boys. Who knows.
What I do know is that even when he makes me want to scream, I love him. I can't imagine my life without him but I'm not naive. I know people change, things change and if one day he decided I wasn't the woman he wanted to be with, I wouldn't want him to stay out of obligation. I'm not a fan of staying together for the sake of the kids, I think that is just as wrong (if not more so) then whatever it is that happened to make you consider leaving. If you're not in love, if that person doesn't make you happy more then they make you sad, then you shouldn't be with them. Divorce is messy and sad but I don't think it's always a bad thing.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you shouldn't exhaust every other avenue to try and make things work, I'm not at all saying you should just throw in the towel at the first sign of trouble. Not at all. I am saying that if you can't make it work, if you can't make each other happy no matter how hard you try, if you don't love the person you are married to...I totally 110% agree with divorce. Kids need to see parents that are happy and in love, parents that argue but still kiss each other goodnight and say I love you before walking out the door. (2 things that happen every single day around here) Kids need to see all of that...if they see parents that walk around angry with each other, parents who fight and argue more then they laugh and hug...that is what they are going to grow up thinking is okay and normal. Life is too short and at some point you have to give up the fight, admit your part in the problem and make a choice. Fix it or move on.
Now should my darling, wonderful husband ever raise a hand to me in anger...or do anything to hurt our children...well, that would be it. I'd walk away faster then he could apologize and he'd better just pack his bags and start moving because there is no way in hell my dad or brother would let him get away with it. I'm pretty secure in saying I don't have to worry about that though. The man doesn't have an abusive bone in his I think it's safe to say that he'll be with me and my bat shit crazy ways for a very long tim.


Poppy said...

Stopped by from Mama Kat's and I have to agree. I suspect you attracted him with your bat shit crazy so he'll probably stick around :)

Erin said...

Oh I so agree!! My husband's dad did that....stayed until the day my husband turned 18 and then split! We've agreed, if you aren't happy, there is the door!

Your boys are adorable!!!

andrea said...

i so agree with your take. i really couldn't have said it any better.

Megan said...

Great post!

I agree as well. I'm not a fan of staying for the kids. I am a fan of exhausting all resources and I pray that people can find that love again for the kids...but if they can't...give the kids a break and show them life doesn't have to be spent miserably.


AngieB said...

I absolutely 100% agree. My hubby and I have been married 23 years now and I plan on staying that way, but you truly never know what the future holds. I can still remember standing in my mom's bedroom in my wedding dress, looking in the mirror and thinking, "You can always get a divorce." Ha! Just knowing I had a Plan B helped me walk down that aisle with a smile all those years ago :)