Monday, January 31, 2011

Bad advice gone right

Everyone has an opinion on EVERYTHING, especially once you decide to grow a human being inside your uterus. Some of it is well meaning and good, some of it is not. Like the time it was suggested that we give Aiden up for adoption. I mean, I'm all for adoption but it wasn't an option for us. Young or not, we lived together, we'd been dating for 3 wasn't like we weren't planning on having a family at some point anyway. It just happened a bit earlier then we thought it would. That advice was well meaning, it was just really bad advice for us at the time.

This is my first post for the ADM blog hop. It's the advice you never thought you'd use, but did.

I had to really think hard about this because most of the time I either take whatever nugget of knowledge is passed my way and ignore it or use it. I couldn't think of a time that I ignored it, only to come back later and realize it made perfect sense...until I realized it's something so simple, something I use frequently and have to remind myself to just LISTEN. And it's advice I've given out, that I'm sure is ignored...until it's not.

So what is the gem of great importance?

"You'll just know"

When I was changing boyfriends the way some girls change shoes I kept hearing that I'd just know when he was the right one. Um, that was just plain crazy because clearly the male species SUCKS and I want nothing to do with them. Until that is, my best friend introduced me to the cute guy she worked with. And that was it, I knew. I knew he was different even though I didn't know exactly why. He was only a few years older then us, which on the maturity curve meant he was about a year younger...but he was different. He could carry on a conversation, an intelligent conversation. He was all wrong in a lot of ways, starting with the fact that my best friend had a crush on him...but from the first night, sitting on my bedroom floor while my best friend and his best friend were passed out...I knew.

5 years later when we were planning our wedding I knew I wanted an outdoor ceremony. That, there was no question about. What I wasn't so sure about was the dress. When we got engaged I had 17 months to plan. Of course that meant I needed to start dress shopping. Clearly it would take at least 6 months of trying on dresses, comparing train lengths and deciding between sleeveless, cap sleeves or halter. Of course, again, I started to hear "you'll just know". What? Are you crazy...this is a DRESS. This is THE dress. I'll just know, phu-leez. Except, when I put the dress on, it was THE dress. I convinced myself that couldn't be right, I mean I still have 15 very long months before the wedding. I couldn't have possibly already found the dress. I had the crazy nice lady at the bridal shop write it down on the list of ones I liked and I carried on. 3 days later I got a phone call saying the dress was on sale. I figured I should go try it on again, assuming that I was just crazy and now that I'm out of my "OMG I'M SHOPPING FOR MY WEDDING DRESS" bubble I'd have a bit more focus and could think with a clear head. Except when I put the dress was THE dress. I bought it that day...and I knew it was the dress I wanted to get married in.
And, it's a damn good thing I did because not long after I bought that dress my engagement time went from being 15 months to FOUR. Yep! No, not b/c I was knocked up again...just because we didn't want to wait and my grandparents weren't doing well and well...we just knew. It was time and we didn't need to wait another year.

So sometimes, you really do just's just hard to realize that when you are in the middle of it all.

So...what's been some of the best bad advice you've received? Feel free to link up!


Paige said...

I definitely agree with the "just know" with my hubby too! I think it is like following your heart or your intuition and it is just the only way to live!

Sara said...

I totally agree. We worry and worry and obsess over things before they happen. And then when things like finding the love of your life, or the perfect wedding dress, or even bringing your new baby home for the first time really do happen, you realize you just know what to do. Good one!

Shell said...

Totally agree! It's the kind of advice that is hard to explain, but eventually you'll understand it :) I knew when I met Mike that he was the one and would have married him the next day. I knew we were right for one another :)