I Love You, Grandma

17 years and you are still missed, every day.

Every once in awhile I have a dream and she's there...and while the situation is usually different, one thing is always the same. She tells me she loves me, she tells me she's okay and gives me a hug. I had that dream last month, I woke up with real tears stinging my eyes, a deep ache in my chest and all I wanted to do was to go back to sleep, to see if she was still there. I wonder sometimes if she visits the boys in their dreams. Maybe, even if only in the dreams they're too young to understand, she's there.
I want to curl up and cry today but instead I'm going to play with my kids, I'm going to feed them waffles and milkshakes for lunch and I'm going remember her the way she would have wanted to be remembered.