I love you. I do. This, my dear friend, will never change.
However, we need to have a little chat.
You see, it's January. Early January at that. It's, oh, -2 out there with the windchill lately. So while I am running in to your warmth and shaking snow out of my hair, I do not want to see skimpy little bikini's staring back at me. Last year they were out around Valentines Day, which was still unacceptable. Look, it's going to be freaking COLD here for the next, I dunno, 4 months. Also, swim trunks right next to snow pants? Really? If you are going to do that, have the decency to put the snow pants on sale. $16.99 for a pair of pants that will be worn 4 times is ridiculous.
Also, as if the fact that it's COLD (did I mention that??) isn't reason enough to keep those strips of fabric some people call a bathing suit in the boxes...let's discuss the fact that we just finished up Christmas and New Years. Which means, my lovelies, I do not want to think about putting my fat ass in to a bathing suit any time soon. I want to cover up with large sweaters and pretend like all those cookies aren't hanging out over the edge of my jeans. It's not work out incentive, it's more like...curl up with a package of Reese's peanut butter eggs incentive.
Thank you for your consideration,
The Cold & Chubby
Redheaded Mama
However, we need to have a little chat.
You see, it's January. Early January at that. It's, oh, -2 out there with the windchill lately. So while I am running in to your warmth and shaking snow out of my hair, I do not want to see skimpy little bikini's staring back at me. Last year they were out around Valentines Day, which was still unacceptable. Look, it's going to be freaking COLD here for the next, I dunno, 4 months. Also, swim trunks right next to snow pants? Really? If you are going to do that, have the decency to put the snow pants on sale. $16.99 for a pair of pants that will be worn 4 times is ridiculous.
Also, as if the fact that it's COLD (did I mention that??) isn't reason enough to keep those strips of fabric some people call a bathing suit in the boxes...let's discuss the fact that we just finished up Christmas and New Years. Which means, my lovelies, I do not want to think about putting my fat ass in to a bathing suit any time soon. I want to cover up with large sweaters and pretend like all those cookies aren't hanging out over the edge of my jeans. It's not work out incentive, it's more like...curl up with a package of Reese's peanut butter eggs incentive.
Thank you for your consideration,
The Cold & Chubby
Redheaded Mama
3 comments:
Brrr. Sounds crazy cold.
I'm with you. I detest seeing the summery stuff out so friggin early. It's like WHAT FOR?!?
LOL! I bitch about this every year but you know what? I had to buy Aellyn a swim suit yesterday for swim class and suddenly I wasn't so mad that they have the crap out 4 days after New Years!
haha! i was there today and saw a cute cute cute swimsuit and thought... NOPE I am NOT ruining my day by trying that thing on!!
instead my day was ruined by a migraine that make me almost sick, gage peeing on the floor then puking on himself right after he got out of the bath!!!
i DO NOT need a swimsuit to remind me HOW SHITTY things are right now!!!!
p.s. i love ya; you crack me up!!
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