10 things, all about me

1. I'm quiet and shy in new situations and around new people. I tend to be self conscious and cautious. Give me a few drinks and that stands to change pretty quickly.

2. I'm loyal, sometimes to a fault, but I've been known to hold a grudge. I'll forgive but I just have really hard time forgetting. Sometimes when I'm not looking those old grudges creep back up.

3. I think everyone should be allowed to marry whoever the hell they want. I don't care if you are white, black, gay, straight, midget (sorry, little person) or a jolly green giant. You love who you love and you should have the right to stand in front of the people you care about, the god you believe in and make whatever promises you like. It should be legal in a court of law and it should be accepted and celebrated by your peers. Plain and simple. It's love, I believe in it and I always will.

4. I'm a hopeless romantic (in case you can't tell from #3) and I believe there is good in everyone. Being hopeless doesn't make me a fool, sometimes even though there is good in everyone, there's just too much bad to make it worth it.

5. I've never done an illegal drug in my life but I'm all for legalizing marijuana. Tax the hell out of it and make some cash just like cigarettes and alcohol. Let's face it, it's probably the healthier option anyway. No, I have no research to back me up and I'm not going to go find any. Legal or not, I'm not smoking it, but I'm not so concerned about you smoking it in your own home.

6. Sometimes when asked what my best trait is I reply with the fact that I am excellent at seeing both sides of an argument. This is very true and while it's one of my best qualities it's also one of my worst. It's hard to truly get passionate about an issue and feel 110% confident in your argument when you can totally understand where the other person is coming from. If I don't get involved in a debate, don't take it as me not having an opinion. I'd just rather sit back and listen.

7. I love to write. I'm not a particularly great writer, I'm probably never going to publish anything but I love to write. I used to write in journals and I feel like I need to get back to that. You'd think this blog would be updated more often, wouldn't you?

8. I like being happy, I like looking for what is good and focusing on what I have rather then what I don't. It's who I am, it's how I get through every day. There are about 300 things I wish I had or that I wish I could do differently but if I sit around and dwell on those I'm going to miss what is GOOD and what is going on right in front of me. On the days I really just don't see those things...on those days, I write. And I drink. A lot. Luckily those days are fairly few and far between.

9. If I had the motivation or the brain power I would go back to school to be some kind of counselor. I don't have that kind of motivation or brain power so I'll stick to just playing arm chair shrink to my friends.

10. I still don't know what I'm going to do when I grow up. I try to picture my life in 10 years...with teenagers in the house...and I can't imagine anything but my grocery bill (so clearly I will be working 3 jobs to feed 2 teenage boys)

I don't do mimi's or blog hops much anymore...but if you want to post your 10 things, let me know and I'll hop over and read.

Wish I could be blind

HH and I weren't teenagers when I got pregnant with Aiden but we weren't exactly in the prime spot to be having a baby either. I was 21, he was 23. We'd been together for 3 years and things were good but we were still just kids. We partied, we stayed up late, I worked 3 jobs and we just went along our merry way.

Aiden changed all of that. In a good way, in a HUGE way.

Through my pregnancy I just sort of did it. I didn't read books, I skipped the birthing classes, these online communities didn't exist the way they do today and the only people that I had to turn to was my mom, the girls I worked with and my 2 friends who were also pregnant/had just had babies. Of course they were as clueless as I was (if you're reading this, hi girls!) so it was the blind leading the blind. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to being blind.

I've said it before, there is such a thing as too much information.

With Aiden I didn't compare myself to other parents, I never worried that other moms would think I was doing something wrong. I just did it, I did whatever worked for us in that moment. There was no right or wrong in my world back then...it was all about survival and making the most of what we had. Sure, I doubted myself plenty of times. I cried, I yelled, I laughed and then I sucked it up and kept going. If something was wrong and I didn't know what to do I didn't run to the internet to find the answer. I got on the phone and I called my mom, my aunt or a friend. From there I decided what I thought would work or if it was something that required it, I called the Dr.

Guess what? Aiden made it through infancy and toddlerhood just fine and in one piece.

Now, bring on Ian and I'm immersed in a world of online communities, social media and GOOGLE. Oh, gotta love the internets. (or interwebs if you prefer) While I adore all of these sites I sometimes wish I could go back to the days when I just went on blindly. Ignorance is bliss sometimes. It really is. I wouldn't wonder if I made the right choice in not sending Ian to preschool this year, I wouldn't read posts from other moms about their kids reading and writing and doing math(!!!) and wonder why my kid wasn't there yet. In my blind little world there would be the occasional parenting magazines with tips on getting organized but there wouldn't be an entire website just asking to make me feel guilty for not giving a damn about crafts.

I don't think we intentionally set out to make another mom feel guilty or feel like she's doing less then a perfect job at raising her kids...but it happens. It's inevitable, especially when it's all just so accessible. Everyone wants validation that they're doing something right and so they post on a message board, update their facebook, create a blog...whatever...so that other mom's will ohhh and ahh and say "wow, you are doing a great job"

So, for all of those mom's out there that are just trying to figure it out one day at a time: You're doing a great job!! For all of those mom's out there that don't do crafts with their kids, skip the bedtime book b/c omg you just need them to sleep right now: You're doing a good job! For the parents who want to ship their kids off to grandma the second it hits 5pm on Friday b/c you NEED a night out: You're doing a good job!

Let's stop comparing ourselves to others, stop trying to measure up, stop trying to make sure we fit in to some kind of mold that WE think we should be in...and let's just start parenting, parenting in a way that works for us and screw everyone else.

Funny things kids say

Ian's current favorites:

My nose is melting! (said when he has a runny nose)
Awe, nuts!
What...The...!! (we can thank his older brother for this one)
I just LOVE it. I love green. Mommy, I don't love purple. But MOMMY, I LOVE it!! (you get the idea)

Generally, he's pretty freakin' cute.

Aiden's new ones:

I'm just being startastic (I don't bother correcting his pronunciation b/c I think it's cute)
Seriously MOM
Oh you think you're SO funny

Clearly we're getting in to the tweet attitude and away from the cute-ness, but I'll take it. I like that he gets me when I'm being "startastic".