Monday, October 8, 2012

Work From Home Mom

I'm pretty sure anyone reading this already knows that I work from home. I've been working from home since December of 2008. First for another company and now for my own company(ies). In so many ways I mean, who doesn't want to work with a glass of wine or be able to decide when everything gets done. I'm the only person I have to answer to. (Well, and my kick ass business partner...and my clients.)

The problem? I have myself to answer to. I'm really really hard on myself and it puts me in to this funk I struggle to get out of. Recently it's been over money the lack of it and it's made things worse. To the point that I just wasn't getting anything done because I had a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel where things would all work out. They always work out, I know this, but for the last several weeks I couldn't SEE it.

Another big issues is that you can't leave your feelings, your mood, your bad day or whatever it is that's bothering you at the door and just work. The laundry is still there, the dishes need done, games of candy land need played and it's all pulling me in 1400 different directions. Days like that I wish I could get in my car at 8am and drive to an office and leave everything else behind and actually be forced to do ONLY work. I know, if you're sitting in an office reading this you're thinking I'm fucking crazy...but I'm not, I swear. I'm not saying I want to work a job with regular hours any time soon...I don't. I have zero desire to punch a time clock. I just sometimes miss the structure and as crazy as it sounds, the fear of letting someone else down. Okay, maybe I lied, maybe I am crazy.

I woke up today after a LOT of soul searching, thinking, talking and I'm feeling better. I've learned some things recently that I don't love but weighed against what I do love...and knowing where my heart is, I'm good. I'm confident in where I am...and now I just need to find a way to leave everything else at the door so I can enjoy the rewards of working from home. It's kind of an evil cycle.

1 comment:

Charity said...

Baby steps, Mama! Glad to hear you're feeling better. I could never go back to working for "the man!"