Work From Home Mom

I'm pretty sure anyone reading this already knows that I work from home. I've been working from home since December of 2008. First for another company and now for my own company(ies). In so many ways it.is.awesome. I mean, who doesn't want to work with a glass of wine or be able to decide when everything gets done. I'm the only person I have to answer to. (Well, and my kick ass business partner...and my clients.)

The problem? I have myself to answer to. I'm really really hard on myself and it puts me in to this funk I struggle to get out of. Recently it's been over money the lack of it and it's made things worse. To the point that I just wasn't getting anything done because I had a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel where things would all work out. They always work out, I know this, but for the last several weeks I couldn't SEE it.

Another big issues is that you can't leave your feelings, your mood, your bad day or whatever it is that's bothering you at the door and just work. The laundry is still there, the dishes need done, games of candy land need played and it's all pulling me in 1400 different directions. Days like that I wish I could get in my car at 8am and drive to an office and leave everything else behind and actually be forced to do ONLY work. I know, if you're sitting in an office reading this you're thinking I'm fucking crazy...but I'm not, I swear. I'm not saying I want to work a job with regular hours any time soon...I don't. I have zero desire to punch a time clock. I just sometimes miss the structure and as crazy as it sounds, the fear of letting someone else down. Okay, maybe I lied, maybe I am crazy.

I woke up today after a LOT of soul searching, thinking, talking and I'm feeling better. I've learned some things recently that I don't love but weighed against what I do love...and knowing where my heart is, I'm good. I'm confident in where I am...and now I just need to find a way to leave everything else at the door so I can enjoy the rewards of working from home. It's kind of an evil cycle.

Changes, they are a comin'

I admittedly don't like change. It makes me nervous and when I get nervous I tend to get bitchy. My husband just loves that about me. ;)

Oddly enough, even though I don't like change, every few years I tend to make some kind of major change in my life. Sometimes planned but most of the time not. It's been this way for as long as I can remember. It's like some kind of outside force realizes I'm getting just a little TOO comfortable in my daily life and throws me a curve ball. I've been lucky in the fact that the majority of the changes have been GOOD. Some even great.

Right now I'm taking a huge chance and I left the job I'd been at for the last 3 years. The job that helped pay the bills, gave me extra play money to do stuff on my own and with the kids, the job that let me stay home and not have to pay for daycare and babysitters. I truly liked my job but as it happens with most jobs, it was time to move on. It was time to do something for ME and to take a leap and hope it all works out. I'm now part owner of my own company. My.Own.Company. How crazy is that?! In a lot of ways I still feel like a kid just playing house, playing "work" and waiting for someone else to tell me what to do and how to do it so I don't mess it up. It's a hard habit to break but this is my baby (our baby!) and it has to be up to us to stop playing dress up and actually DO THIS. I'm super excited and scared as hell all at the same time. Oh, and really really bitchy nervous.

There's also talks of relocation this summer. No where crazy far away or anything but a good 40 minutes from where we live now. We'll be moving farther from a lot of my best friends but I have other really good friends that I'm excited to live closer to. The house is really small, which will be a big change and the kids will be in new schools. Oddly enough this change will be temporary, we'll live there for a year or two until we save enough to find out forever house. Again it all makes me really bitchy nervous.

Changes...they're definitely coming. Like it or not.
So, to keep with that theme, changes to this blog will be coming as well. It's time for a makeover!