Dreams

I'm in way too many facebook groups and when I think about leaving, I get sucked in. Some are great, some I have no idea why I am even in there, and others are useful.

One of them had a post about jobs. What's your current job and what's your dream job.

For most people this seems to be an easy answer. If you are lucky, they're the same answer. For me though - I don't have an answer. I love what I do. I love that I'm my own boss and that I get to take ideas and make them happen for my customers. I love creating things - even if I'm not particularly creative myself. Is it my dream job though? Probably not. I say probably because I don't have one. When I was probably 10 I wanted to be a photographer. I got my first camera and I would tear through film. So many pictures. I would run around on vacation snapping pictures and videos and loving all of it. Only about half the pictures came out but I didn't care. When we had kids we bought a nice camera and I learned the very basics from real photographers. If I tried I could get some pretty kick ass pictures of my kids but I had no desire to learn more. I love to capture the moments but it's not something I dream of getting paid to do.

When I was in 6th grade I started writing a book. It was on this grey recycled paper and I remember the blue pen I had wrote so smoothly. I walked around with it in a binder and let very few people read it. I would go on to write variations of that same story throughout the years. Some I would type on my word processor and others would eventually be saved to a computer. I would never get very far. I have a friend that often asks about that original story, he's been asking for over 20 years if I finished it. I haven't. Someday maybe I will. Probably not.

I know that I express myself better in writing. I can stop and think about what I am saying and how I am saying it. I can read it over and over again to make sure it's perfect. I can't do that when I talk, once those words are out there, there's no taking them back. There's no backspace or edit option. I like writing for me but again, I don't see it being a dream.

I'm not sure what my dream is. I'm not sure I need to have one. Maybe just enjoying what I do until the next thing comes along is enough.