Marching for Babies

When I had Aiden I was pretty oblivious to anything pregnancy related. I didn't know a damn thing about infertility, I didn't know anything about pre-mature births, NICU or really...anything. I mean I figured out how to deal with MY baby...but babies in general? I was clueless. It's not true what they say, just because you spend your tween & teenage years babysitting does not mean you'll just know how to be a mom. Babysitting of any kind does NOT make you a mother...or give you any kind of clue as to what it's like to have and raise a child of your own. The people that say that...they're full of crap.

As Aiden got older I figured stuff out, he's an 8 year old who is pretty well mannered and generally well behaved. We haven't totally screwed him up, which is good. It wasn't until I was trying to get pregnant with Ian that I really had any idea of what people go through to have a baby. Or what parents go through when they lose a baby. Losing a baby is what prompted me to start this blog, but even then I don't think I totally "got it".

As I was planning my wedding and walking down the aisle my cousin was suffering through the loss of her son. At the time I was in my own little bubble and I only heard bits and pieces of what happened through the family grape vine. I wish I could go back and change that, to be there for her, but I can't. She went on to have my little cousin, and then after that went on to lose triplets...and then to have my other little cousin who actually made it PAST his due date.

This is the second year that we've marched in honor/celebration and memory of those babies. I look at her, her husband and her boys and I'm in awe. I'm in awe of her strength and her courage and her love for her children.

I have a friend with a little girl fighting daily in the NICU, constantly fighting an uphill battle that most grown adults wouldn't be able to handle. She's amazing, as are her parents and her big sister. This and all of the other babies born too early that spend too long in the NICU or never get to go home with their parents are the reasons we march.

March for Babies 2011

A post once a month?

So yea, I haven't posted in a month...shocking, right?? I figured it was time to give you a recap of the lovely dinner we had this evening.

We had my parents over for their anniversary. On the menu? Stuffed clams, blackened scallops on a bed of smoked gouda risotto, a salad of mixed greens, green beans and cookies with vanilla ice cream for dessert. We're fancy around here...just ignore the fact that we use paper towels instead of napkins and our dinner table has a lot of toddler art work on it.

So we're all sitting down to eat and by eat I mean the adults are eating, Aiden is pushing his risotto around and Ian is climbing under the table and biting his brother's leg. Yep, just your average dinner around here. We're laughing because my parents were originally going out to dinner and invited us but I knew better then to take the demon spawn
Ian out in public so late in the evening.

At some point Aiden mentions being hit in the balls.
HH: Aiden, really?
A: What?
HH: Balls? How about nuts?
M: Guys! We're at the dinner table!
A: What mommy? You don't even have balls.
**at this point my dad is trying really hard to hide the smirk on his face**
A: Fine, privates. Is that better?
M: Will you please just eat your dinner?

A little while later Aiden is telling some story, the child does.not.stop.talking these days and I'm not going to lie, I only listen to about 45% of it. Have you seen the Louis CK skit about ignoring what his daughter says b/c nothing she says matters? I think of that every time I zone out and just nod and smile while he talks. It's not that I don't enjoy his stories, I do, but sometimes he just goes on and on and on....and really, I have a lot of stuff on my mind. Like vacation and dieting and how long until bedtime. See? Busy girl.

Anyway, totally off topic. As he's telling his story he says something is stupid and then follows it up with a rather large burp. HH chimes in to help.
HH: Aiden!!
A: What? I said excuse me.
HH: You said stupid and then burped.
A: I can't help it.
HH: You need to watch your mouth.
A: But stupid isn't a bad word.
M: (chiming in b/c HH seems to be missing a major point)
You know you don't talk like that and please do not burp at the dinner table, it's rude.
A: Well just because girls don't burp mommy **hysterical laughter**
M: Aiden...
HH: Yea, they don't fart either
A: hahahah, I know. Only boys do
M: Really guys???
A: OUCH, MOMMY IAN BIT MY LEG AGAIN!

**I'm surprised my parents didn't decide to take their food to go at this point, but they survived dinner. They even survived HH's song and dance about the fact that he's getting the big V next week. And Aiden made a comment that mommy isn't having any more babies because she's scared. Oh, if he only knew...**

When did that happen??

Growing up I watched my mom get ready every day. She did her hair, she applied her make up and she never left the house without lipstick. It's who she was. I grew up always wanting makeup and playing dress up. It's who I was.

As a teenager I had more makeup then most adults I knew. I had painted nails and full make up on all the time. I didn't leave the house without, which at times drove my best friend nuts. The thing was, I didn't do it to impress the boys or get attention, I did it because it was the only way I felt like "me". I felt uncomfortable in my own skin if I didn't have it on...and yes as an adult I realize that is pretty ridiculous but hey, I was a kid. And if I'm being perfectly honest even as an adult I feel better when I'm made up and looking pretty.

That being said, I've been slacking. I have no problem leaving the house with a messy pony tail and no make up on. (well except lip gloss. I always have lip gloss). So much so that when I showed up at the school's silent auction last night one of the committee members went "whoa, look at you".

Um, yes, this is what I look like with hair and make up on...wearing something other then a t-shirt/sweatshirt. Clearly, it doesn't happen often. It's a downward spiral and I'm 1 set of dentures away from turning in to my mother who has been known to walk around in PJ pants, a cicra 1998 mickey mouse tshirt, crocs and no teeth.

My goal is to actually do my hair and make up 4x a week. Something other then a pony and lip gloss.

Blog Hop - Sibling Style

I've been incredibly remiss in posting my weekly ADM blog hop posts, obviously, since my last post was Jan 31. I could give you all the crazy reason as to WHY I haven't posted...but I'll spare you because in reality, my life isn't so super busy and glamorous that I don't have time for blogging...I just tend to spend my free time doing things like playing of Facebook, watching Weeds or drinking wine. Or, on a really rockin' night, all three.

So, here we go with this weeks topic (Thank You Andrea):
Sibling relationships.
Yours, theirs, your life without siblings, your children's lives with siblings.
However you want to interpret it.

Let's start with me....after all, it is all about me. At least, that is what my brother always told me. I'm 4 years younger and I'm pretty sure I've blogged about my brother before. We are polar opposites. I'm the quiet, reserved rule follower. He...he is not. We'll just leave it at that.
We never got along, my parents used to leave us home together and I remember him beating me up during commercials while watching the Simpson's or whatever other show we stayed up "late" to watch. I don't know why I didn't just leave the room, but I didn't. I never really looked up to my brother the way my friends did theirs. I didn't want to be like him, if anything watching him made me want to run in the opposite direction.

We're adults, mostly, and while we don't see eye to eye on things we're still family. We've got each others back when it's important and he loves my kids. In the end, even if we're not close, that's good enough for me.

My boys though. Oh, my boys. Right now they go from screaming at each other to being best friends. I can honestly say though, Aiden loves his little brother...he didn't want to throw him out the window on day one like another big brother I know. He's also never intentionally given him small toys to possibly choke on. Not that I know *anyone* that would do a thing like that.

We debated for a long time on having another child. We had Aiden pretty early in life and timing wise it just never seemed like it was going to work out to have another. Of course now, I can't imagine not having Ian around. I hope they grow up to be good friends, I hope they spend weekends with each other when they're older and have kids that play together. Of course, if that doesn't happen, I hope at the end of the day they have each others backs, regardless of the differences they may have.